Happiness is not pursued, it is recognized.
A man took his two young sons to a park. There was this huge park on the edge of town they lived in, and he wanted to bring his boys there on his day off from work. The place sprawled for acres. There were massive fields, a ball park, swimming holes, jungle gyms, and hundreds of other kids for his sons to play with - all bathed in sunlight and covered by a late summer breeze. The two boys spent the entire day, until sundown, building forts, swimming, climbing, jumping, getting hurt, having battles with sticks and dirt clods, and sampling from the robust menu of boyhood activities. As the sun went down the father called his two boys to him, and told them it was time to go home.
The foolish son fiercely protested. Having forgotten immediately the joy of the gift he had received in this trip from his father, he began to cry, whine, and fret over his pleasures being taken from him. How cruel of his father, he thought, to bring them to such a great place - only to take it away after having only a taste. In his forgetfulness, he believed that he would have been better off if his father had kept him inside at home all day rather than whet his appetite in such a way. His bitterness against his father soured all the joy he had had during the day, and utterly corrupted the whole experience. His ride home was spent in silent brooding, he simmered like burning coals until they arrived at home and he was diverted toward the activities of the evening.
The wise son spent the ride home quietly recalling all of the days adventures and was happy that his Dad had brought him to such a place. He took the joys of the day and stretched them to their limit by remembering. The boy recognized that he and his brother had done nothing to deserve the trip, neither of them being particularly good students, but that the park was simply something special his Dad wanted to show him. From this and days like it, the wise son knew not only that his father loved him, but that he had good things for him, and that the end of one good day meant the beginning of more good things - a warm dinner at home, a hot shower, and the particular kind of sleep that only comes at the end of a long Saturday at the park.
The two boys, each having had the exact same experience, interpreted it in exact opposite ways. One boy in bitterness, the other boy enjoying the "good to which all things aim" - happiness.
Lives of all sorts are spent running after happiness. Men and women throughout history have been desperately running, fighting, biting, struggling, sweating, thrashing, and killing after this one thing. Pouring themselves out on the altar of "happiness". So many have wasted their strength trying to get that "one thing" that will make them happy, only to look back to see that their best years have been spent in misery, mediocrity, and bitterness - entire nations have been built on the idea that happiness can be pursued, found, and captured if only you are willing to give up everything for it. I'm convinced there is a better way.
Happiness is not pursued, it is recognized. Happiness is chasing after the carrot on a stick, only to realize you have an apple in your pocket.
What is the secret to happiness? What does the one boy have that the other lacks?
Gratitude.
The one boy forgets the good things he has been given, and that he did nothing to earn them, and only remembers when those things have been taken from him. The other boy remembers that he deserved nothing to begin with, and was able to see the day as a gift. One boy had gratitude, the other did not.
The foolish son fiercely protested. Having forgotten immediately the joy of the gift he had received in this trip from his father, he began to cry, whine, and fret over his pleasures being taken from him. How cruel of his father, he thought, to bring them to such a great place - only to take it away after having only a taste. In his forgetfulness, he believed that he would have been better off if his father had kept him inside at home all day rather than whet his appetite in such a way. His bitterness against his father soured all the joy he had had during the day, and utterly corrupted the whole experience. His ride home was spent in silent brooding, he simmered like burning coals until they arrived at home and he was diverted toward the activities of the evening.
The wise son spent the ride home quietly recalling all of the days adventures and was happy that his Dad had brought him to such a place. He took the joys of the day and stretched them to their limit by remembering. The boy recognized that he and his brother had done nothing to deserve the trip, neither of them being particularly good students, but that the park was simply something special his Dad wanted to show him. From this and days like it, the wise son knew not only that his father loved him, but that he had good things for him, and that the end of one good day meant the beginning of more good things - a warm dinner at home, a hot shower, and the particular kind of sleep that only comes at the end of a long Saturday at the park.
The two boys, each having had the exact same experience, interpreted it in exact opposite ways. One boy in bitterness, the other boy enjoying the "good to which all things aim" - happiness.
Lives of all sorts are spent running after happiness. Men and women throughout history have been desperately running, fighting, biting, struggling, sweating, thrashing, and killing after this one thing. Pouring themselves out on the altar of "happiness". So many have wasted their strength trying to get that "one thing" that will make them happy, only to look back to see that their best years have been spent in misery, mediocrity, and bitterness - entire nations have been built on the idea that happiness can be pursued, found, and captured if only you are willing to give up everything for it. I'm convinced there is a better way.
Happiness is not pursued, it is recognized. Happiness is chasing after the carrot on a stick, only to realize you have an apple in your pocket.
What is the secret to happiness? What does the one boy have that the other lacks?
Gratitude.
The one boy forgets the good things he has been given, and that he did nothing to earn them, and only remembers when those things have been taken from him. The other boy remembers that he deserved nothing to begin with, and was able to see the day as a gift. One boy had gratitude, the other did not.
Psychologist are beginning to realize what world religions have been trying to teach for thousands of years. Grateful people have better mental health, are better able to cope with big life changes, have better well being, and are happier people in general. They even get better sleep than ungrateful people. Gratitude is the oil for the machine that is the human being. It's a perspective, a choice, a habit, and an art form, that human beings are designed to function under.
It's my goal here to train in the art of gratitude. To become a master in it. Like any skill, proficiency comes with practice. Like any muscle, strength comes with exercise. My writings here will be dedicated to understanding the virtue of gratitude, meditating on it, recognizing it in others, and most importantly practicing it. Becoming grateful is a matter of accepting certain truths, and embedding them in our character through practice. I hope that you will help in learning this delicate virtue by writing, thinking, talking, struggling, and acting along with me here. It's my hope that by doing these things with the goal of becoming grateful people, we might "learn the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want".
It's my goal here to train in the art of gratitude. To become a master in it. Like any skill, proficiency comes with practice. Like any muscle, strength comes with exercise. My writings here will be dedicated to understanding the virtue of gratitude, meditating on it, recognizing it in others, and most importantly practicing it. Becoming grateful is a matter of accepting certain truths, and embedding them in our character through practice. I hope that you will help in learning this delicate virtue by writing, thinking, talking, struggling, and acting along with me here. It's my hope that by doing these things with the goal of becoming grateful people, we might "learn the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want".
Good intro...
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